Starbucks 101

I believe I have mentioned before that I currently work for Starbucks. I love my job, but excitingly enough I found a new job and will be ceasing my employment with Starbucks next week. Needless to say, after working for Starbucks for almost 2 years I have developed a few pet peeves. Also, my friends are always telling me how confusing the whole experience can be. While I do believe that Starbucks should either offer a class on how to order your beverage(s) or atleast hand out brochures entitled "Things You Need to Know Before You Order that Cup of Joe", this is not going to happen. Therefore, I have compiled a list of 15 tips, request, FYI's (what have you) to make your visit to Starbucks as enjoyable as the past 20 months I have worked there. So here goes...

1. Please start off your drink order with the size. We can not ring in all your order until you tell us the size. ("Soy, 3 Raw Sugar, Latte, Grande" = My least favorite customer)

2. Give us a size in general. We do not have a crystal ball telling us what size you want.

3. If you don't have much money left on your gift card or gold card and you are ordering a drink in addition to reloading your starbucks card, ask to reload your card first. We can not total your drink order with your reload amount and then take it off that same card. We end up having to delete your drink order.

4. If you want your drink iced or in a frappucino form then say so. Nothing is more annoying than when someone orders a white mocha, comes to the window, is handed a white mocha, and then looks at us as if we are supposed to know that they wanted it iced or in a frappucino. When in doubt say, "the hot one", "the iced one", or "the blended one."

5. We do not always have the same coffees brewing. Fairly frequently the company changes what we brew and when we brew it, so it is always safe to ask before you get your hopes up. Also, if you ask for the bold coffee after noon then it will more than likely not be brewed. On some occassions we do still have some grounds left and will brew it for you, but please understand that this is not our decision. Therefore, when you ask for bold and all we say we have is the Pike Place, our mild, do not reply with, "I refuse to drink that! I'd rather have sewer water!" It is just plain rude!

6. Starbucks is a coffee shop. Therefore, when you come through a drive-thru keep that in mind. This is not fast food. These drinks are not pre-made.

7. If you want sugar, Splenda, Equal, extra cream, or anything short of a tiny person in your coffee, latte or whatever, then tell us before we make it. Nothing is more annoying and ineffecient than someone who orders a coffee or latte and when they get to the window or at the end of the bar they ask, "Can you throw in a few sugars please?"

8. For the one millionth time, we can not accept $50 or $100 bills. We just aren't allowed to. Period.

9. Say it with me: Ma-ki-a-toe. Not, Ma-chi-a-toe. Although, I hesitated to put this because nothing makes me giggle more than someone who pronounces Macchiato and Latte wrong.

10. A tall is a small. I know it sounds insain, but it is simply the truth. The sizes are tall, grande, and venti (small, medium, and large).

11. Caramel Macchiato's are not made with caramel syrup in them, only on top. Also, macchioto means "to mark." Therefore, the foam on top is marked with the shot that is poured on top. The drink is actually made with Vanilla Syrup. That is why you don't taste much caramel past the top.

12. Here's one I never would have thought to be an issue, but here it is. "Nonfat" is the same as "Skim." We have to say nonfat, but they are both the same thing. Just the other day I had an argument with a woman who did not want the nonfat milk she wanted skim milk.

13. Our coffees are very strong. They probably don't taste anything like the pot of Folgers you made this morning. Even I don't particularly like our coffees.

14. Starbucks Drinks 101:
-Latte: espresso shots, steamed milk, and a little foam on top
-Cappucino: espresso shots, half steamed milk, and half foam
-Mocha and White Mocha: syrup, espresso, steamed milk, and whipped cream
-Frappucino: blended ice and either coffee base or cream base, and whipped cream
-Americano: espresso shots and hot water

15. Want to shout out your order in perfect Starbucks Lingo? It goes in this order: Decaf (if not, skip) --> Iced (if not do not, skip) --> Size --> Number of Shots (only to be said if different from the original recipe) --> Syrup (if none, skip) --> Milk (the default is 2%, otherwise state the kind you would like) --> Modifiers (this is where you say "5 Splenda" or "Extra Hot" or "Add Whip" or "125 Degrees"...) --> Drink Type (insert latte, americano, frappucino...)

16. Per someone's request, I have added this one to help all of you pronounce the size correctly. Now I know what you are thinking... why not just have tall, grande, and venti? Well would your coffee be worth $2.15 if it didn't have a fancy name? Isn't that what you pay for?
- Tall: 12 oz.; pronounced as read
- Grande: 16 oz.; pronounced gron-day (Although, I have to admit to loving it when someone calls their drink "grand." "Excuse me. I don't want the regular latte. I would like the most wonderful, amazing, fabulous, grand latte.")
- Venti: 20 oz.; pronounced vin-tea (FYI: "venti" means 20 in Italian)

17. Don't be afraid of buying the coffee beans. We will grind them for you. I am amazed at how many people think we don't. I am so tempted to reply to some's concerns with a "No those beans are meant to eat whole ma'am."

18. Before you go hauling your laptop up to your local Starbucks you may want to find out if the Internet is free. Now down here in ole' Alerbamer we don't know nuffin about no stinkin' free Innernet. Here's a little tip. If you happen to go to a Starbucks where there is no free Wi-fi, get yourself a $5 gift card. Sit down and log onto the Internet. Then register that gift card. When you register your gift card you get 2 free hours of Internet a day at any Starbucks. Then go up to the counter and buy whatever drink or pastry you want. This way your Internet ends up free in the end.

19. Don't be fooled by a "reduced fat" label. Reduced from 1000 grams of fat is still a lot. If you are diabetic just avoid the pastry case at all costs. If you want to know the lowest calorie options I'd recommend one of the following: oatmeal, berry or apple stellas, or reduced fat cinnamon swirl coffee cake.

20. Many people complain that our coffee is "too" strong. I do agree that it is pretty strong. Order a Cafe Misto. This is half coffee half steamed milk. This way you want make your coffee room temperature after you get done pouring all that cold half and half in your coffee.

Now, hopefully the next time you step into a Starbucks you will feel more equipped to order! Peace out all my fellow caffeine junkies!