Birthing Classes

J and I recently started birthing classes. I know most people say these things are pointless (and I have to say I'm starting to agree), but this is our first child so we wanted to partake in all the cliche first-time-parents thingy-bobbers. And, birthing classes was on that list. And, let me just say... worth every single penny. Not because they make you feel sooo much more prepared (you do learn some pretty interesting things but overall... not that groundbreaking), but for the comic relief. It's been a long time since I have laughed as much as I have with J in birthing class. Seriously, I can't make this stuff up...

• You know how pretty much in any scenario in life when you are thrown into a group of strangers, there's always going to be that one odd ball. Well, we have our odd-ball couple. I really hope whoever she is never reads this blog, and I doubt she will so here goes... We walk in to our first birthing class (2 minutes late of course) and have to sit on the very front row. We sit, and J proceeds to elbow me very strongly... "Did you see the girl with the baby blanket?" Me - "The girl with the baby? Is she in the wrong class?" J- "No. There is a girl back there wearing a baby blanket." Yep... she was indeed wearing a baby blanket. Anyone else find this odd? I mean I guess if I had to justify it in a way... was she trying to get her scent on the baby blanket? And, if so, why would she do that in public, in front of strangers, 10 weeks before her due date??? Odd. To top it off the couple stares at us the whole class. Throughout the hospital tour, two sets of eyes staring. During our second class, two sets of eyes staring. Now, me being the weirdo I am, I love it. I love the whole awkwardness of throwing all these stranger together and shamefully am looking forward to seeing what the next few classes hold.


• They made us watching birthing videos. Do I really have to expand on that? I'm talking the whole ordeal. Yea, I totally could have gone my whole entire life without ever seeing that. I guess I'm just not one of those "It's the most beautiful thing you will do" kind of moms-to-be. I'm afraid those images will haunt me for the rest of my days... and let me just say, one video was enough to confirm my decision to get the epidural. Can I get an amen?


• Speaking of epidurals... apparently they are also referred to as blocks. Yea, I didn't know that. The nurse asked for a show of hands of "those considering the use of a block as pain management." I didn't raise my hand... I did not raise my hand b/c I thought she said a glock. Over half the women in the room raised their hands as I sat there with a puzzled look on my face in astonishment. J elbowed me and asked, "Why didn't you raise your hand?" To which I quickly replied, "Was she joking about a glock? What in the world?" I thought he was going to lose it. J - "A block, Abby. Block is another word for epidural." A - "Oooohhh! I thought she was asking who was considering having a firearm in the delivery room with them. I wasn't aware that was an option."

Those are just a few of the hilarious and albeit awkward moments from birthing class. To be honest, J and I spend most of the time trying not to laugh. I wish I could record his very quiet commentary throughout the class. Seriously... I look forward to the classes for the laughs that we will get at each other. I'm sure we are probably an annoyance to everyone else, but by golly we sure are having fun!