Fashion Smashion

I'm really struggling with the recent trends. I'm sorry, but not only are they not flattering on any female 5 pounds heavier than emaciated, its just down right ugly... That's right I said it. U-G-L-Y!!!

Here are a few of the current trends I need a little help understanding:

1. Shirts that somehow qualify as dresses: Not since I dressed up with my Cabbage Patch dolls has this been okay to wear in public.

2. Homeless Chic: I was totally cool with Bo-ho chic. I actually took to it very well and still love wearing my extra large bags and over-sized scarves. It's the uncombed hair, and an overdone amount of hodge-podge jewelry that I don't get.

3. Tight Man-Jeans: I'm not talking tight aroundthe rear and loose at the end, I'm talking tight from top to bottom. I am yet to find one male who looks flattering in the painted on jeans, not that I am necessarily looking, I'm just saying is all.

4. Man Make-up: Dudes should not wear eyeliner. Sorry Adam.

5. Sack Dresses: I may be fighting a losing battle with this one. I already own one, but wear it with a cardigan b/c I feel like I desperately need to create a figure. Who made these a must-have? You are on my list.

Sooo... if you find any rhyme or reason behind any of these please fill me in. I would love to understand!